The answer is ‘do you think it’s bad that you did that?’
We are usually our own harshest critics and judge, especially if we are sensitive people.
As human beings with emotions and sensitivities we get drawn in to the moment with our own needs and agendas. We end up reacting to other people and sometimes act spontaneously in a way that we later question.
‘Why did I do that?’
We acted that way because we are human beings with emotions, rather than logical robots. Sometimes we may really struggle to decide ’Mmm, should I do that?’. Maybe a little persuasion from someone and the ‘I don’t think so’ becomes a ‘Go on then’ decision.
Problems occur when we do things that we later regret. This may be because our actions can have a consequence of lowering our self-worth. Feeling we are bad, or weak, or in some way not how we would like to be. Those thoughts can be detrimental to our happiness and love of ourselves.
But there are ways of protecting ourselves from those feelings.
By deciding what our boundaries and values are, by deciding how we need to behave in order to like and approve of ourselves. We are all individuals and every person will have their own boundaries and values but if you are acting in a way you are able to judge yourselves positively, you will be able to preserve that crucial self-worth.
A bit of time spent investing in setting our boundaries and deciding what our values are can really give us strength when deciding ‘in the moment’ and preserve our self-worth and approval of ourselves.
Ultimately it isn’t approval by others we need to enable us to feel good about ourselves, it is the approval of ourselves.
If you need help discovering your true values and setting safe boundaries that you feel happy with then please give me a call