How to protect yourself from criticism.

Do you feel sensitive to criticism? Do you sometimes find yourself needing to justify and defend against someone’s unfair criticism?

Some people seem to like making critical judgements of others, often with no grounds to do so. Perhaps it makes them feel better about themselves or maybe they get some sort of pleasure from it.

Whatever the reason for the criticism, how YOU process it can make the difference between it being destructive to your self-worth or not.

Hearing what isn’t being said in the criticism and reflecting back to the critical ‘friend’ can help you to keep the interaction ‘in the moment’ and the focus away from you -eliminating any need to justify yourself or internalise it.

For example;

You turn up to a friend’s barbeque, obviously making the most of a sunny British weekend, and the host offers you a drink.

‘A soft drink for me please as I’m driving’, You say.

‘Oh, don’t be so boring, get a few drinks down you, leave your car, get the bus home. You’re getting really dull’, comes the reply.

At this point, you possibly feel pressured to justify your decision. ’I’ve got an early start tomorrow’ or ‘I’ve overdone it recently so I want a healthier day’, or, ‘I’m training for a charity run on Tuesday’, or whatever you think will enable the critical source to accept your decision.

(which, quite frankly, is none of their business, you are entitled to make your own decisions and be responsible for them.)

This interaction gives power to the critic who may decide to press or criticise you further. It can leave the person on the receiving end of the criticism feeling dejected

A different approach is to hear what isn’t being said and reflect this back to the critic with something like:

‘Gosh, I’m surprised that you feel the need to be so critical’

This response builds a silent barrier that keeps the interaction ‘in the moment’ and protects you from feeling a need to justify your decision. However they respond, you can continue to reflect back the ‘what isn’t being said’ element.

If the criticism is being received from someone who often interacts with you with judgement, and with whom your usual response is to try and justify yourself, then this will be unexpected and feel a little unsafe to the critic.temp closedTaking a new ‘role’ and having a different response can cause the critic to have a rethink and change how they interact with you because you no longer respond how they want you too. If you feel that working with a Life Coach may be beneficial to you then give me a call on 07708238929 for an informal initial chat and more information, or visit my website www.pippaseed.co.uk

Pippa Seed • May 31, 2018

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!


Recent Posts

Are you one of many people who are facing redundancy?
By Pippa Seed 22 Oct, 2020
Are you struggling with news of redundancy?
Are you experiencing more vivid or disturbing dreams than usual
By Pippa Seed 27 Apr, 2020
The changes to lifestyle brought about Covid-19 seem to have many people on a bit of a rollercoaster of thoughts. As human beings we all need some certainty to feel a level of safety without which, it is difficult to relax (the level varies from person to person and the areas of life in which we need [...]
Some suggestions for coping with the social isolation and Covid-19
By Pippa Seed 24 Mar, 2020
Some suggestions for coping with the social isolation and Covid-19   These really are very challenging times for many people …around us and globally. There are justifiable and real concerns about the physical health of our loved ones, our own health and also concerns about our mental health too. With social isolation comes the potential [...]
How do we handle the situation happening in our country, caused by Covid-19
By Pippa Seed 21 Mar, 2020
What seems to be happening is that many people are feeling an increasing level of anxiety. So, what can we do to cope with feelings of anxiety and, for some, panic? One thing we can do is to take some control in a situation, in which, we feel many things are beyond our control. We [...]
By Pippa Seed 26 Jun, 2019
All relationships have conflict or differences of opinion at some time …it is healthy to do so and to maintain some of our individuality. However, the way we react and handle those times can make a huge difference to the health of a relationship. Ideally, both parties would listen calmly and respectfully to each other’s [...]
Do you feel emotions strongly? Do you often feel misunderstood?
By Pippa Seed 06 Mar, 2019
Do you seem to be aware of subtleties around you? Maybe you are the 15- 20% of people who are highly sensitive people… Wikipedia states “People with an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotion stimuli have a personality trait termed highly sensitive person [...]
Do you want more confidence, self worth and resilience?
By Pippa Seed 02 Dec, 2018
Are you your No 1 fan? Or do other people’s opinion of you count more to you? The second option can potentially be a route to diminished self-worth. Why is this? Well, we all have values that are important to us and the combination of important values varies for each person …so someone else’s opinion [...]
Are Your Relationships Thriving?
By Pippa Seed 06 Nov, 2018
I recently came across a post I really liked…. Which got me thinking…. I love using analogies to explain things and in writing this piece decided to look up the actual definition of an analogy to check I had it right and this is what came up on Google a comparison between one thing and [...]
By Pippa Seed 01 Nov, 2018
'Ho Ho Ho' or 'No No No'? Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat. For many people, Christmas is a time of great joy, with plenty of Ho Ho Ho! For many others, it is a time of dread: a time of No No No! There are the TV ads portraying jolly [...]
By Pippa Seed 11 Oct, 2018
  Or do you feel that something is missing? The answer often depends on whether …and how often, we choose to stay in our Comfort Zone or whether to take a challenge and Grow. Most people need to be achieving personal growth in some way in order to feel fulfilment …..but how often do we [...]
Share by: